Top 10 Things That Make Me Angry

10. WWF. How fucking stupid is it, and even worse, how stupid are the people who watch it? I had to watch 5 minutes while I was waiting for B.G. on the SciFi channel, and this list came to mind. While we are at it, what does WWF even have to DO with SciFi geeks? Seems to me they would be intellectual, scrawny guys who don’t get laid much. Why would they be into wrestling? Extreme Strip Poker, okay…but not wrestling. Made no sense.

9. Coupons in the grocery store line. Okay, coupons are fine, but people who will haggle for 5 or 10 minutes over a nickel REALLY piss me off.

8. Mini van drivers who load up the van with everybody they know and then order food in the drive- thru lane. Not only do I get to wait for them to all decide what they want to eat, but then I get to wait for them to collect the money at the paying window, and I get to wait again for all the food to be gathered up and bagged and handed off. (Mini vans may appear in this countdown several times…) Added bonus? Van full of really FAT people, because then I can assume they are ordering an insane amount of food and the reason they are in the drive thru is because they are too fucking lazy to get out and go inside. Yes, I said FAT, but it’s like the N word and being black, I am one, so I can say it…if you aren’t, you can’t.

7. Businesses that don’t call me back in a reasonable amount of time. Any business I e-mail or contact by phone who doesn’t respond within a few days really chaps my ass.

6. Bad customer service. Period.

5. People who are apparently unaware that the far left lane of the freeway is for passing only. The guy who will sit there oblivious and create a huge backup of traffic really pisses me off. The crème de la crème of this group is the person who will STILL sit there after people manage to pass him one after the other in the center lane…get a CLUE! Oftentimes these drivers are in mini-vans.

4. People who text people from the movies with their annoying glowing LED lights on REALLY chap my ass.

3. People who will talk during concerts…just because the music is loud and they can’t hear themselves doesn’t mean that their constant yammering behind me doesn’t annoy the piss out of me.

2. People who smoke in doorways. In Washington you are technically not supposed to smoke within 25 feet of a public building…not so in Oregon. Once you walk thru the smoke then it sticks to your clothes and YOU smell like smoke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I used to smoke, but you know what? I don’t now and I REALLY have no desire to smell anybody else’s.

1. And the Number 1 thing that chaps my ass? Hummers and Escalades (and any other insanely large SUV). To me when I see that with 2 people in it, it says, “I have a lot of money, therefore I don’t care what things cost, nor do I feel I have to worry about conserving resources….fuck the war...they'll find more oil somewhere else".