Valentine's Story From a Pessimist

Okay, I haven't posted in several days because I've been busy trying to get my business set up and going...I'm putting much money out, I need to bring some in. BUT, I see many people are still frequenting my page every day, so I'll give you something new: This is a story for the chicks, and the sensitive guys. Sorry, I'll write something for the He-Men next time!

Here was possibly the most unexpected and sexy thing that EVER happened to me in my life. Don't worry, we're rated probably G here, so I'm not going to tell you things about me you really wish you'd never known! Anyway, I used to frequent a karoke bar and it was sort of my version of Cheers, the "Place where everybody knew my name". And I don't want any crap about the karoke thing either, do you have any idea how much money I saved in therapy while I was going thru my divorce because of karoke? It was a LOT. If I had a bad day I went to the bar, had a rum and coke and sang No Souvenirs, or Why or something like that; instant fix.

Well, at the bar was the mandatory hot, young bartender. Since I know he's no longer in the state I'll use his real name, which is Luke. Now I was about 33 and Luke was about 22...oh well...every woman's fantasy. My friend Virginia used to lament she would love to "die in the arms of a man much younger than herself!" Who wouldn't? He wasn't a big guy, but he had the prettiest green eyes you've ever seen in your life, great smile as well. I thought he was just a dumb little pretty boy, but he grew on me anyway nonetheless. I'd gained a lot of weight in my last years with Martin, and I'd spent the first year of my divorce taking it all off. I did pretty well, I was almost satisfied with my size so I went and bought the "little black dress", because now I could. It was just that simple. I got all dolled up, new lipstick and everything, and walked in the bar. Luke looked up, then did a double take and said, "Wow! You look GREAT!" THAT was exactly what I was looking for when I'd gotten dressed up...he actually exceeded what I thought I would get as a reaction. So, over the course of the rest of the night he flirted with me any chance he got away from the bar, I proceeded to get "too drunk to drive myself home" (yeah, right) so of course he had to drive me home. Exactly as I'd hoped, he took me to his home, not mine. Bingo. Well, as I said, this is a G story, so I will tell you that nothing went past 2nd base or so...didn't seem like the thing to do...but sometimes isn't that the best part of getting to know somebody, the part before you make it all around the bases? I've always thought so. The cool thing is that while we were hanging out talking he told me a bunch about his past I'd had no idea about...he'd had some really awful stuff happen to him as a kid. It wasn't the fact he'd endured awful stuff that got to me, who hasn't? What got to me is how matter of fact he told me, and with absolutely no "poor, poor me" inflected into it. I realized the water ran a lot deeper than I'd originally expected. After that we crashed, his room mate made me breakfast in the morning and he took me home...no big deal...one night thing, sort of interesting.

Sadly, he told one person and I told one person and between those two people it went all around the bar and became this HUGE thing. I'll omit the drama and hair pulling that ensued, but from the two of us having a cool night together it became this big drama with everybody involved in it. It REALLY sucked. Luke and I ended up fighting all the time and my safe haven became anything but a great place to be. This went on for several months with Luke and I pitching cheap shots back and forth all the time. I finally gave up on it and just let him act as he would and he eventually got tired of making the effort and we just didn't speak at all anymore.

Several months later Luke hooked up with a lady named Nikki who had begun hanging at the bar. Nice girl, and I think she was really good for Luke; he grew up a lot while they were seeing each other. At one point Luke pissed Nikki off but good so she broke up with him. Luke didn't take it very well and he was often seen sitting at the bar on his nights off with the sad puppy dog face. One night I walked in and stood next to him at the bar to order a drink and much to my surprise he initiated conversation with me. He looked like he needed to talk so I sat down and listened to him tell me about what had happened with Nikki and himself. Then to my even greater shock he turned the conversation to our old fighting days and said,

"I am so sorry for how I treated you back then...I have no idea why I did it. You were never anything but nice to me and I was an asshole. I repeat, I don't know why and I'm sorry".

Whew! Didn't see THAT coming. I told him it was no big deal and I thanked him several times for apologizing to me, I told him I'd never thought he had that in him. And no, he wasn't drunk and blabbering, he was completely sober drinking his first beer when he started this conversation. Truly amazing. But wait, it gets better.

My sister Tina was out with me that night and we were headed for the car to go somewhere else that night. The door to the bar faced out on the parking lot, and we were just standing around at my car discussing where we were going next. I had my back to the bar and Tina was facing it with this inquisitive look on her face. I turned around to see what had her attention and as it turns out Luke had come out on the back step and was casually leaning against the door looking at us. He looked REALLY sexy, like movie star sexy... When I turned around he gave me the "come hither" with his finger, and I LITERALLY did the stupid thing and looked over my shoulder to see who he we really gesturing to! Duh. As soon as I did that he smiled and said, "I mean you. Come here". In a low voice from behind me Tina said, "If you don't go I'm going to...my GOD that's sexy!" I had to agree. I went to him.

When I walked up to him he gave me a huge hug and said in my ear, "Again, I'm really sorry for how I was...you're a great friend and I don't know why I acted that way". He continued to hug me and I told him,

"Ahhhh Luke, you know I still love you no matter how big of a terd you are!" Whups, said the "L" word. I realized what I'd done and took a step back and looked at him and said, "You know I mean love like a friend, right? Didn't mean to pop that one at you".

He laughed and said, "You don't have to explain, I know what you meant" and gave me another hug. I walked back to my car on a cloud and drove all the way home on that same cloud. Tina was impressed, so was I. The best thing about it? It's not very often that one is wicked mistreated by somebody or done unfairly that they actually get to hear an apology or acknowledgement of undue pain being subjected in the past. I know it sure doesn't happen to me very often, and Luke was the LAST person I thought was capable of that. Goes to support my theory, rule out nobody when it comes to potential for great kindness.

There's not great crescendo of an ending to this story; Luke and Nikki got back together and they bought a bar in downtown Portland that did and still does quite well. I will admit I enjoyed Luke's and my newfound aliance a couple of times. One night some skinhead guy was picking a fight with me over a bar stool of all things and got in my face. Luke literally LEAPED over the bar and got between us and up in his face even though the skinhead guy was twice his size. The skinhead guy backed down. That felt good to be defended like that. (And once again, chicks like bad boys and that was pretty arousing how he leaped over the bar and jumped in front of me!)

Another time I was dating this horse's ass named Troy. I wasn't all that into him and we were at the beginning of the end anyway. We were out at Luke's bar and Troy was over at some other table talking to some other girl. I REALLY didn't care and I wasn't paying much attention to it. It was driving Luke NUTS and he kept asking me what the hell Troy was up to. I kept telling him Troy was a big boy, we weren't married and I didn't care. Luke ignored me and eventually went up to Troy told him that since he was there with me he was being incredibly rude and he needed to get back to my table. LOL! That didn't sit very well with Troy, and I actually think that may have been the last night we went out together. I'd be lying to say I didn't completely dig being watched over like that. Very empowering giddy feeling.

I haven't seen Luke in a couple of years; Nikki and he broke up and last I heard he's living somewhere in Florida now. That's okay, I wish him the best. The important thing is the memories I have because of him. It was nothing you could even closely call a relationship, but I will say it was possibly the most romantic experience of my entire life. Amazing considering I never even came close to sleeping with him. See, there still is some innocence left in the world...you just have to realize how to recognize it!

Although I hate the holiday, I will say "Happy Valentine's Day" to all who read this. I hope you had a great evening...I'm going to go watch TV with my dogs now!

Denise:-)